The Language of Legs

 

Here’s a PlayBoy 1969 Edition article on The Language of Legs. 

"The article is actually hilarious in retrospect, and paints a pretty shallow picture of us guys as simple-minded children with one thing on their mind - getting their sticky little fingers on the prize in the Cracker Jack Box." Real Talk: This article is all bull. The Schemer's heel is probably too big, the Conformist probably has to pee, and the Perfectionist might be cold. Since the photo descriptions are pixelated and teeny, here's what it says:  

Six Seated Leg Languages

ORGANIZER Neatness and order turn her on. Uncertainty bugs her, so profile a definite date plan and stick to it. If she’s sitting pigeon-toed, she lacks confidence, build up her ego and she’ll do the same for you. 

SOCIAL WORKER She shores many traits with the Perfectionist but is even more selfless. Act helpless and she becomes affectionate and generous. If you indicate you are really need her, she’ll put your interests ahead of hers. 

EMANCIPATED WOMAN Independent and unconventional, she’s the epitome of the “new girl.” She digs her freedom, up-to-date fashion and faraway places. The Out Islands are in - take her there and you’ll be, too.  

PHILANTHROPIST Warm, easygoing and good humored, she’s comfortable with herself and everyone else. This romantic has a lot to give and she gives it freely. But don’t try to tie her down - she’s a lover of all men. 

SCHEMER Though outwardly well balanced, she actually feels threatened by men. This girl is ambitious and competitive. Gently challenger to a game of gin rummy and manage to lose - you’ll win the bigger game.  

CONFORMIST If you spot her at a party, head determinedly but quietly for her chair, she likes being told what to do, but doesn’t like to attract attention. A slow started, once committed, she’s wholeheartedly yours. 

PERFECTIONIST Concerned with impressions, she’s apt to be insecure and overly anxious. She sincerely enjoys helping others, so have a problem and tell her about it. When her sympathy becomes aroused, so does she. 

While crafting this post I sat in the Social Worker and Emancipated postion. What language do your legs speak? When you're out this weekend, will you sit like the Perfectionist? Schemer? or the Conformist? I would love to see a male version of The Language of Legs. 

Stay Classy,


c.